How to Handle a Difficult Children: 7 Life-Changing Tips

How to Handle Difficult Children: 7 Life-Changing Tips

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by
Tara Jones

Tara Jones is a renowned Child Development Professional with over 10 years of experience. Holding a Bachelor's degree in Child Psychology, Tara has made significant contributions as an early childhood educator and a respected writer in the field. She is known for her innovative teaching methods and has been instrumental in integrating play-based learning into child development practices. Tara's workshops and publications are highly sought after for their practical insights and evidence-based approach. As a recognized authority on child development, her work continues to shape educational practices and support healthy child growth.

Key points

  • Establish clear boundaries and consequences to teach children that their actions have repercussions, ensuring consequences are reasonable and not overly harsh.
  • Show love and affection, regularly expressing love, and highlighting the positive aspects of the child, helping them release negative emotions.
  • Bond with your children through regular communication and engaging in shared activities, fostering a strong parent-child relationship.
  • Focus on the positive aspects of their behavior, acknowledging and reinforcing good actions, avoiding negative self-talk.
  • Watch your communication, speaking to your children with respect and kindness, using firm yet gentle approaches to enforce boundaries.
  • Reflect on your behavior as a parent or guardian, recognizing that children mirror the behavior they observe, and be willing to change and model positive conduct.
  • Incorporate prayer into your routine, seeking guidance and help from a higher power, fostering positive transformations in your child's behavior.

On this page:

BOUNDARIES

SHOW THEM LOVE AND AFFECTION

BONDING WITH YOUR DIFFICULT CHILDREN

FOCUS ON THE GOOD THINGS

WATCH THE WAY YOU SPEAK TO YOUR CHILDREN

 

In this article, I will be discussing 7 life-changing tips for handling difficult children. These tips can help transform children who appear to not listen, disrespect, embarrass you in public, fight, yell, refuse to do their school work, have a high temper, and lack discipline. If you have a child who exhibits any of these behaviors, then this article is for you. While I do not claim to have all the answers or solutions, I am sharing these tips because I believe they will be helpful to many.

I had a child, a boy, who I won't name for privacy reasons. He was one of my most difficult children. He would refuse to dress up, yell, have tantrums and cry for hours. He would fight with and mistreat his siblings. I tried various methods to change his behavior but nothing seemed to work. It was really breaking me and I reached a point where I couldn't take him to public places or friends' parties for fear that he would embarrass me by acting out. 

I consulted with my pediatrician who assured me that it was just a matter of time before he changed and started behaving better. However, as time went on, his behavior only got worse. I felt like I was in a dark place and didn't know what to do.

Here are 7 life-changing tips that helped my child become more disciplined and beautiful. I'm proud of him.

BOUNDARIES

Boundaries

Establishing boundaries and consequences is one of the most important tips for dealing with difficult children. If you fail to do this, nothing else will work. For instance, if children are playing with food on the table and refuse to stop even after being told to do so, you can take the food away. Similarly, if children are throwing bricks around and not listening to you, you can take the bricks away. Consequences are necessary to teach children that their behavior has repercussions. Without consequences, children may not respect your words. Keep in mind that consequences should not be too harsh, as this could instill fear in children and worsen the situation. Instead, keep them short and reasonable. This will help keep children on track and teach them that there are consequences to their actions, even as they grow older.. An expert shares here helpful information on how to set up boundaries with your child.

SHOW THEM LOVE AND AFFECTION

Showing love and affection

 

This is the second powerful life-changing tip that helped me with my difficult children. Tell your child that you love them and how special they are. Share positive things with them that can easily dissipate their anger or frustration. When you show them love and make them feel needed, they will begin to absorb it and let go of negative emotions. Leading experts share their thoughts here on childhood love, adversity and mental health.

BONDING WITH YOUR DIFFICULT CHILDREN

Bonding with your children

 

Bonding with your children is crucial. You should communicate with them throughout the day and engage in activities together, whether it's playing with water guns, hiking, engaging in sports, or cooking. For instance, my son and I love painting, so we often take time to paint shapes together. I admire parents who take the time to bond with their children, and I encourage you to do the same. I understand that your work schedules might be busy, but even a little conversation or watching their favorite program together can go a long way in strengthening your bond.

FOCUS ON THE GOOD THINGS

focus on the good things

When dealing with a difficult child, it's important to communicate with them and acknowledge their positive behavior. Take a moment to point out something specific they did well, such as "I like how you played with your sister" or "That painting you made is amazing!" Focusing on positive actions reinforces the idea that doing good is a good thing. Avoid calling attention to negative behavior, like if they don't want to do their homework. Avoid making statements that could lead to negative self-talk and instead, encourage positive actions.

WATCH THE WAY YOU SPEAK TO YOUR CHILDREN

Watch the way you speak to your kids

This is a crucial topic - How do you communicate with your children? Are you using harsh words, shaming or abusing them? Or are you mocking them?

It's important to talk to your children with respect and kindness - just as you would do with a dear friend. You must communicate with love and respect. However, this doesn't mean that you cannot impose boundaries. You can still be firm yet gentle in your approach.

For instance, if your child is watching TV and you want them to switch to painting, instead of just turning off the TV, you can give them a heads up. Say something like: "Hey, I'm going to switch off the TV in the next 15 minutes, and then we'll paint your favorite shapes together."

It's essential to pay attention to how you treat your child because they'll learn from you and treat others the same way. The more love and respect you give them, the more they'll reciprocate.

YOUR BEHAVIOR AS A PARENT OR GUARDIAN

YOUR BEHAVIOR AS A PARENT OR GUARDIAN

You need to change a lot of things within you as a parent or guardian. So I needed to face that, I needed to change a lot of things within me as a parent to my children. So I changed the way I spoke to my children, my tone of voice changed and I started to see their tone of voice change and it’s because I changed myself first. Children  are a reflection of us, children are a mirror of us so if we want them to change, the first thing that we need to do is we need to change ourselves.

 

PRAY TO GOD

Pray to God

The last seven life-changing tips I'm going to share with you in this article helped me a lot with my children. The key factor that made all the difference was prayer. If it wasn't for prayer, I don't think any of the above tips would have been as effective. I had specific prayers I would say with my children every day, such as "God help my boy not to be difficult," "God help my boy to be kind," and "God bless my boy with a heart of sharing." Whatever problems we faced, I would also share them with God and pray for His help. For example, "God help my children to be respectful to one another," "I pray that my children don't do this again," and so on. When I prayed, I saw so much change and transformation happen. God has been faithful, and that difficult child who used to yell, fight with siblings, and cry for hours became the most disciplined child. Of course, he's not perfect, but seeing my children transform is the best thing that could happen to any parent or guardian spending sleepless nights worrying about how to handle difficult children.

If you want more tips, I found this article where education experts share (here) 10 tips for dealing with a difficult child.

If you have any other tips on handling difficult children that can be life-changing or transformative, please share them in the comments section. I hope this article has been helpful to you. Thank you for reading!

 

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